Television Show Review: Family Guy Something Something Something Dark Side

The new Family Guy Star Wars special comes out on DVD today, so I thought I’d offer some of my thoughts on it.

Hilarious.

While I watched I thought several times to myself, “You know, I’m enjoying this more than the actual movie.”

For those of you who don’t know, Something, Something, Something, Dark Side is a parody of The Empire Strikes Back (following up on Blue Harvest which was a parody of A New Hope).

I would name some of my favorite parts, but it would just be easier if you went and saw it yourself. I’ll say it again. Hilarious.

I just realized a few minutes ago that since the chicken is Boba Fett… that’s going to a be freakin’ sweet battle scene in We Have A Bad Feeling About This (the sequel in the works, parody of Return of the Jedi).

And that’s that. If you like Star Wars, Family Guy and you enjoyed Blue Harvest, check this out. Google it or something since I have nothing to gain from linking you directly to the amazon page or anything.

Ancient Civilizations (Atlantis?)

I’ve been reading and thinking about ancient civilazations a lot lately. Something that just came to me… there appears to be very little evidence of civilzations before 3000BC(ish) as far as say, the Egyptians go.

Let’s imagine our own curent civilization into the future. I think that we are moving more and more towards having less impact on the environment, especially as far as waste products go. Non-biodegradable/inorganic materials will be used less and less as time goes on until the only reason to use plastics/metals will be for structures that demand the benefits of those materials (though alternatives to those may even come around…) Nevermind where all the old stuff made of the non-eco friendly materials goes for the moment…

If, having reached this point in civilization, we suddenly disappear, every trace of our existence would degrade back into the environment over a number of years. Let’s say 10,000. Especially if our civilization ended up focusing on eliminating any impact it has and once had on the planet’s environment… Pretty realistic I think.

Now what if for some reason, we must abandoned Earth at this point. Start fresh somewhere else. Who knows what the reason is, perhaps it’s part of the whole getting the Earth back to how it was meant to be. Anyway, we’ll assume the world population remains around 8 billion (I think there will be a limit we will reach at some point) most of whom must be transported somewhere else. The steel/aluminum etc. bio-alternatives are not plentiful enough to build all of the space craft necessary, so we melt down all of our now-ancient machinery etc. in order to build the massive number of ships needed.

We leave Earth, all traces we’ve left behind degrade within 10,000 years, except for a the few remnants that persist in the few left behind with the vague memory of what once was. An elite few perhaps who were chosen to remain on Earth to start over.

10,000 years after we have left Earth, civilization has grown back strong again. Many of the lessons we learned that led us to “go green to the extreme” have been forgotten, or just ignored because they are outdated beliefs from some unknown civilization. “They were around 10,000 years ago. They didn’t know anything.” The lessons have to be realized all over again.

Now what if this already happened? There is some reason to believe that around 10,400 BC Atlantis disappeared and the remaning Atlanteans went to Egypt, built the Sphinx, and planned the Giza pyramids. All of that is of course up to interpretation etc. But what if the story happened as I described above?

It’s also interesting that iron is rare in Egypt, and that any iron they did have was treated with reverance since the only way they got it was in meteorites. (They also believed the Gods’ bones were made of iron, or so I’ve read).

Anyway, by the time (900’sAD-present) anyone has cared enough to actually go excavating for the artifacts of ancient civilization to attempt piecing together what all went on, many traces have since disappeared. Also a previous ultra-advancedcivilization may not have been dependent on non-biodegradable materials at all to begin with.

So those are just some of my thoughts on the subject. More to come I’m sure as I read more on the subject.

iPhone App Idea

So there are those photo apps that identify a product and looks up the price when you take a picture of it.

My idea, a similar app, but you take a picture of say, a phone number on a bill board , and it extracts that into a contact in your address book (and automatically sets the picture you just took as that contact’s photo ID for context).

I think this would be especially useful if you see a phone number on the back of a truck or something but dont have quite the time to actually type in the phone number. Obviously you can just take a picture and copy the numbers yourself later… but what if you need to call that number right away? Plus setting the photo as the contact’s ID provides more useful information such as the service or whatever of the company or person’s ad you just took a photo of.

Clearly this is kind of  a lazy man’s tool, but so is that other thing. How hard is it to type in the name of a product? Not very.

So that’s my new iphone app idea.

Giza Pyramids – Orion’s Belt

So there’s this whole thing about Orion’s Belt and the Giza Pyramids, and how it’s discredited because the image was flipped (upside down) to match.

From wikipedia:

Krupp also pointed out that the slightly-bent line formed by the three pyramids was deviated towards the north, whereas the slight “kink” in the line of Orion’s Belt was deformed to the south, and to match them up one or the other of them had to be turned upside-down.^[3] Indeed, this is what was done in the original book by Bauval and Gilbert (The Orion Mystery), which compared images of the pyramids and Orion without revealing the pyramids’ map had been inverted.^[4]

I think there’s a great explanation for this that makes sense. I think it is very possible that Egyptians may have viewed the heavens in the same way the Mayans did, in the reflections of still pools of water. Any constellation viewed in a pool’s reflection would appear upside down.

I can’t remember where I saw it, but it was on the Science channel talking about the Mayans. They looked down at the pools instead of up at the sky, because they believed that they were looking down into the underworld (which is a reflection of the heavens) which would kind of fit with the whole egyptian underworld business.

So those are my thoughts, if the pyramids were indeed built to represent orion’s belt, there is a reason they are flipped from how we see them looking into the sky.

Twitter App Idea

This idea just came to me, an innovative app for twitter. We’re all familiar with the twitter search, hashtags, all that stuff…
I present to you, Twitter Future Search. An application that allows tweeps to search for tweets that are going to occur in the future. Answer people’s questions before people even ask them. Get spoilers for TV shows that don’t air until tomorrow. See if the weather really is “clear skies and sunny” this weekend as the weatherman claims.
Related product: wikipedia universe manipulator. Simply change a wikipedia entry to change reality.

Anti-Antimatter

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Anti-Matter

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#LOST S5 Finale Thoughts

I’ve gotta start off with, wow, I love Lost. This will be an excruciating 8 months or so…

Anyway, here’s what I think is goin’ on, in a totally non-organized way…

I think it’s obvious now that Richard came on the Black Rock. The anti-Jacob dude, I’ll just call AJ (for Anti Jacob) for now. Some people are calling him Man #2, or Esau, or whatever. I like AJ.

I’m about 95% sure that this fella http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sobek Sobek is the statue. Some interesting facts about Sobek that seem to appropriately apply to Mr. Jacob:
-Sobek’s ambiguous nature led some Egyptians to believe that he was a repairer of evil that had been done, rather than a force for good in itself.
-He was also said to call on suitable gods and goddesses required for protecting people in situation, effectively having a more distant role, nudging things along, rather than taking an active part.
Apparently someone has put in Sobek’s article that this is true. I won’t use that as fact or not though.

Sobek is one of the creator gods, and also claims to be an avatar of Amun. Whatever that means… The important thing is that I’m pretty sure that Jacob is either Sobek or an avatar of Sobek (and not God or whatever a lot of people are saying). I also think that any biblical references are merely due to christianity’s evolution from ancient Sumerian and Egyptian religions… Anyway.

So AJ, what’s his deal? I think that AJ has been the one in ‘Jacob’s’ Cabin this entire time. Does this mean he is smokey and all the dead people everyone has seen throughout the show? Quite possibly… Like I said with my "silly" hologram Locke theory, Locke disappeared when Ben went to see Smokey, Smokey didn’t appear earlier when Locke was around… etc. He’s been manipulating people directly by appearing to everyone as something from their past. What we have seen from Jacob is that he appears as he is to the Losties. I’m not saying he only does it that way, but yeah…

So AJ (as Christian) has tricked not only Ben into turning the wheel initially, but then got Locke to do it as well, sealing the deal to get John back to the island dead as a doornail. Why would Jacob want that? He wouldn’t, AJ wanted that so that he could take the form of Locke and play it off like he came back to life upon return to the island… (everyone saying that Locke would know a lot more than he has, like what Ben saw when he went to see Smokey… Hello, long con, people)

Jacob has let a lot of this happen though, because what he needs also happened by allowing AJ to do what he has. The Oceanic 6 have returned to the island (clearly Jacob wanted them to be there), and we’ll see how that plays out…

While I’m thinking about it, Jacob didn’t touch Ben when he told him he had a choice. That seemed to be the deal with all the others he spoke to…

So yeah, AJ = Smoke Monster. The others may believe that the smoke monster is just a security system… obviously that’s exactly the kind of thing AJ would want them to think.

That’s enough about Jacob, on to everyone else. Current timeline people, we’ll just see them continue on from where they are at the moment. Jacob has been letting only people he wants on the island get there, so now that he’s dead (at the moment) "they are coming" refers to people who haven’t been able to get to the island, but now can. Who? People on AJ’s side…

Back to 1977. Nuke has gone off… which I think is exactly what happened in the Season 2 finale when Desmond turned the failsafe. This is a much more raw occurrence though (the failsafe seemed specifically engineered) so it may do more than just send Juliet naked into the jungle. Desmond’s mind got sent back in time when he turned the key, so something like that will happen to those near the incident as well. That is, all of the Losties.

Before I go further, I think this is what has always happened. There could be some debate, as everything else happened just as it is said to up until the nuke going off (for example Change having his hand smashed) but that all would have happened regardless of the nuke going off or not. That will be the big question for the next 8 months though…

But I think everyone within the Swan area (hurley, jack, kate, sawyer, miles, jin, juliet, sayid) will flash to somewhere/when else due to the raw power of the nuke canceling out the electromagnetic pocket of energy. I think that since the 1977 and 2007 timelines are somewhat linked (the same amount of time has passed for both sides) that they will come back to 2007 (after the event stabbing event we just saw). We will be done with time travel, and it will be all about faith versus science for the final stretch (as was the first season, ish) with the focus on these characters and far less sci-fi stuff.

As for Desmond and all the kids off island? Maybe they’re all the "they" who Jacob referred to? Walt was said to be special… but it seemed like it was in a way that the Others feared. There’s a reason Walt and Locke had such a bond with each other, and it may very well have something to do with that. Walt "appears where he shouldn’t" as does everyone else who has appeared on the island (via smokey?). Walt is the one who appears to Locke when he was shot in the DHARMA Death Pit. So yeah, I think Walt is tied to AJ somehow… Oh yeah, Desmond, no idea really. He’s "special" and all that, but he really hasn’t had much to do with what happened this season at all. He went to deliver a message to Ellie, but she learned nothing new from him… He learned nothing new from her except "the island isn’t done with you." He beat the hell out of Ben, but the only reason he had to do that was because he came all the way to LA in the first place. Maybe Des will come back to the island and become the new Man of Science and butt heads with Jack, the new Man of Faith…

Or something like that.

That’s about all I can think of at the moment, we’ll have to see in 8 months whether any of this is even close…

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‘Duos’ out now!

My new book is available on lulu.com, have a look (and buy it? eh? eh?) right here: http://www.lulu.com/…os/7090907

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Insane Dream

I had one messed up dream during my afternoon nap.

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